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Problems With Communication In Male/Female Dating Relationships:
An Annotated Bibliography
Sarah Diamond
Academic affiliation: Oklahoma State University
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Knobloch, Leanne K. "Measuring the Sources and Content of Relational Uncertainty." Communication Studies 50.4 (1999). ProQuest Direct. Oklahoma State University Library. Article A63320550. 29 Sept. 2003 http://80-proquest.umi.com.argo.library.okstate.edu/. Uncertainty reduction theory explains the idea of uncertainty in both the individual and interpersonal relationships. In this study, uncertainty is more closely examined in dating relationships. Three issues in uncertainly in interpersonal relationships were acquired to better understand people in relationships. The yearning for being in the relationship, an assessment of the relationship, and objectives expected out of the relationship were observed in this study. People, whom are in an interpersonal relationship, try to find a better understanding of the other person in the relationship based upon uncertainty reduction theory. Uncertainty reduction theory can make a person have second considerations about themselves or the other person in the relationship. A person may determine based upon being uncertain about other person in the relationship or themselves that they may not be with the ideal person. In reading this article, many people can benefit from learning about uncertainty reduction theory. Uncertainty reduction theory can help people to be more observant with their own relationships.

Krain, Mark. "Communication among Premarital Couples at Three Stages of Dating." Journal of Marriage and the Family 37.3 (1975): 609-18. Communication acts as a major role in how a relationship advances from the dating stages to marriage. Communication in a relationship can seem very complicated or stressful during certain stages of a relationship or in certain circumstances in which communication is significant. Communication can also be complicated no matter how old a person is. Conversing with another person can seem simple or more comfortable for a person as one matures or grows older, while for some people, communicating can always be difficult to manage. The combined effects that communication has on a relationship can increase as a relationship develops over time. In a relationship communication may seem difficult to maneuver, as time progresses in the relationship, communication may seem easier. In some relationships, after much time is spent with a person, a person can really feel like they can entrust their inner most feelings to the other person. Many people are able to communicate better as they become more familiar with the other person and are able to better understand them. Reading this article can help a person to learn more about communication and the effects it has on their own relationships. A person can learn how important communication is in relationships, especially before a person decides to pursue marriage.

Markman, Howard J., Scott M. Stanley, and Susan L. Blumberg. Fighting for Your Marriage. San Francisco: California Jossey-Bass, 2001. There is no relationship that exists that does not have some kind of problem, whether the problem is large or small. There are couples that seem very pleased or satisfied in their relationships that still have some problems that exist. The problems may not always be visible to people outside the relationship. There are some married couples that are not very patient in their relationships. Some couples think that if their problems in their marriages cannot be promptly resolved than there is something incorrect with the marriage. If more people were willing to understand another person in the relationship, some relationships could be mended or healed. It takes two people in a relationship to make the relationship function properly. There are so many people that are eager to get out of the relationship rather than learning how to better communicate with that person. Under certain circumstances leaving the relationship may be the only cure (ex: different variations of abuse that may not be cured). If more people were patient in understanding and willing to compromise with the other person in the relationship, fewer marriages would fail. People in relationships can benefit from reading this article by realizing how working through difficult times in a relationship is not always easy. In reading this article, people could realize that to make a relationship work, both partners in the relationship have to be willing to work together through difficult time and compromise.

Retzinger, Suzanne M. Violent Emotions: Shame and Rage in Marital Quarrels. Newbury Park: California Sage Publications, 1991. Communication plays a great role in a relationship and the advancement of a relationship. Conversing with one another in a relationship is what can bring people closer together or farther apart. A person can learn a lot from another person in how they communicate with them. A first impression can be important in a relationship, but after getting to know a person there is so much that a person can learn by conversing with that person. Some people think that as long as they love a person then everything will be fine. There are many issues or events in a relationship that can be difficult at times, but a person has to be willing to compromise with that person and learn how to manage differences in the relationship. People can always benefit from learning different concepts or ideas behind communication. How people converse and interact with one another especially in a relationship is very important. Many relationships could be mended if more people realized that communication plays a great role in the advancement of a relationship.

Samp, Jennifer A. "Coping With Problematic Events In Dating Relationship: The Influence of Dependence Power On Severity Appraisals and Decisions to Communicate." Western Journal of Communication 65.2 (2001). ProQuest Direct. Oklahoma State University Library. Article A78375633. 19 Sept. 2003 http://proquest.umi.com/pqdweb/. Quite often in a dating relationship, one or both partners will at times act in a way that is considered inappropriate to the other person in the relationship. The power that an individual has in a dating relationship can give that person the ability to decide whether or not they think they should communicate about an issue in the relationship. The decisions that are made about power or the amount of power that is presented in a relationship are revolved around commitment. The amount of power that each person presents into a relationship is based upon how committed a person thinks the other person is to them. People can benefit from reading this article by focusing on power and commitment in their own relationships and to observe how these concepts apply to them.

Samp, Jennifer A. "Dependence Power, Severity Appraisals, and Communicative Decisions About Problematic Events in Dating Relationships." Communication Studies 52.1 (2001). ProQuest Direct. Oklahoma State University Library. Article A71981451. 19 Sept. 2003 http://proquest.umi.com/pqdweb/. People who are in dating relationships can develop their own individual power based on what the they think the other person wants them to be portrayed as in the relationship. A person trying to hold so much power in a dating relationship can lead that person to become uncommitted to the relationship, and to seek other options in another relationship. The power that is in a relationship from either partner, is viewed and judged by the other partner in the relationship. Strong amounts of power in a relationship from each partner can lead the commitment in a relationship to deteriorate. After reading this article, it can help a person to focus on how much power they are putting forth into their relationships. Reading this article can also help a person to determine if both partners are putting an equal of power forth into the relationship. If a strong amount of power is given into the relationships more from one person than the other, a person may reconsider the relationship and look for other options in new relationships.

Sher, Tamara Goldman and Baucom, Donald H. "Marital Communication: Differences Among Martially Distressed, Depressed, and Nondistressed-Nondepressed Couples." Journal of Family Psychology June 1993. US: American Psychological Assn. (1993): fiche 934, vol.7, iss.1. When a person is overwhelmed with problems or is going through difficult times individually or in the relationship, the other person in the relationship is also affected. In this article, a study was conducted to observe more closely couples that are dealing with stressful times in their marriages. The article also focuses on wives who are going through downheartedness in their marriages and couples that are neither going through any difficult times in their marriages. When disapproving communication is presented in a relationship or a marriage, the other person may also be affected from such communication. Disapproving communication can lead both people in the relationship to become saddened or depressed. A person who has trouble grasping what the other person in the relationship is trying to communicate can lead a person to grieve. If people think more about the things they say or communicate more frequently, people could accomplish more within a discussion. Many marriages might be saved if people tried to have more undisputed discussions.

Stafford, Laura and Reske, James R. "Idealization and Communication in Long-Distance Premarital Relationships." Family Relations 39.3 (1990): 274-79. Behaviors or issues that occur in a relationship before marriage are likely to continue to occur when a couple is married. Pre-marital counseling can very much help a couple to work through any difficulties and it can also help a couple to determine whether they are making the right decision in marriage. It is very common for couples to be in long-distance relationships. Pre-marital counseling can be very essential in helping couples that are in long-distance relationships. There might be many things that a couple may need to discuss in person with one another before marriage. In some relationships especially long-distance relationships, some people may not have discussed or thought about things that can be discussed during counseling. Pre-marital counseling can bring a couple closer together and it can also make a couple reconsider their marriage. People should very much consider pre-marital counseling before marriage to converse with one another of any difficulties the couple is having. If no difficulties appear in a relationship, counseling can help a couple in learning how to better manage any communication problems.

Stanley, Scott M., Markman, Howard J. and Whitton, Sarah W. "Communication, Conflict, and Commitment: Insights on the Foundations of Relationship Success from a National Survey." Family Process 41.2 (2002). ProQuest Direct. Oklahoma State University Library. Article A290040831. 6 Oct. 2003 http://80-gateway.proquest.com.argo.library.okstate.edu/. How people converse with each other, manage difficult times, and how devoted they are to a relationship were researched from a phone survey that was conducted. Couples who are living together, already married or couples who are planning on getting married were focused on in this phone survey. Negative interaction in a relationship, such as thoughts of separation, divorce, and annoying habits, can lead a person to have negative thoughts or begin to withdraw. The survey found that couples quarrel about financial issues more than anything. Couples, who quarrel about financial issues, seem to have more of a disapproving attitude towards the relationship than other couples. If people were able to resolve some of their financial issues by having more of a positive attitude in the relationship, many marriages might be saved. In learning of the results of this survey, some people may think about the things they fight about in their relationships. If financial issues are the only issue in a relationship, people should seek counseling learn how to better manage their struggles without turning to divorce. Many people think that simply because there is a struggle in a relationship that they must get divorced to solve their problems.

Vogel, David L. "Dating Relationships and the Demand/Withdraw Pattern of Communication." Sex Roles 41.3/4 (1999): 297-306. In a marriage, patterns of demand or withdrawal can arise individually based upon the differences in males and females. Research investigates demand or withdrawal patterns of couples in a dating relationship. The investigation is determining if discussions or arguments in a relationship cause these patterns. The demand or withdrawal patterns of communication can be included when the women in the relationship are known to express more of a negative attitude towards the partner. Women are more prominent for communicating in a discussion or argument than men are. Women are known to have more of a negative attitude when having a discussion with their partner in a relationship. Focusing on the patterns of demand and withdrawal can help a couple to apply these patterns to their own relationships. Learning about these patterns can help a person to better understand how communication can be different between males and females.

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